


all your love is sunlight

by inbetweenthestacks



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Ep 5, I just had to get some feelings out man, M/M, Matteo is a dumbass but we love him anyway, Pining, set right after the 'Breaking Up' clip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 20:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18395960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inbetweenthestacks/pseuds/inbetweenthestacks
Summary: During the exam, Matteo can't help but let his mind wander.





	all your love is sunlight

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this because I HAD to contribute something, these boys are driving me crazy. I know it's short and doesn't have a plot, but eh whatever. 
> 
> And, yes, I did write this instead of writing a paper. Turns out falling down the Druck rabbit hole during finals week wasn't the greatest idea. 
> 
> Also I know that hell week is coming, but just let me live in the happy moments a little bit longer.

Matteo stared down at the exam in front of him and struggled to make sense of the words. He wiggled the pen between his fingers anxiously and read the same question for the fourth time, but nothing stuck. His mind was everywhere but that classroom. 

_Thursday. 11:00. Here_

When he had seen that text he got the giddy feeling in his chest he had come to associate with David. He could only imagine what he was planning, and Matteo knew that trying to imagine what it could be would be all that was on his mind until then. Somehow, though, he knew that whatever it was would be better than anything he could think of. David and his creative mind had a way of daring him to do things he never would have considered in a million years, and he loved it.

After waking up Sunday morning to David’s drawing, he had spent the rest of the day walking on air. He saw the looks that Hanna and Mia had been shooting him, but he didn’t care. Couldn’t care. The whole weekend had felt like a dream, and he wanted to do everything he could to keep from waking up. Laying there with David, hour after hour, felt like finding home. Kissing him felt like the first signs of light after being in the dark for so long. Now that he had felt it he didn’t think he could go back to living without it.

He knew in the back of his mind that come Monday morning there would be consequences to face, but that was a problem for future him. It was easy to ignore the calls and the texts when David was giving him that look that melted his insides. The same one that convinced him to climb that fence without saying a word. 

Well, future him was now present him. Jonas had seemed laid back with his comments about missing Abdi’s party, but the lie about dealing with his mom seemed to get him off the hook, at least for now. As for Sara, the number of texts he’d gotten from her over the weekend meant that no matter what he did he’d be in trouble. That’s why when he saw her at school, he panicked; he didn’t want to deal with that.

He knew it was shitty what he was doing to her, but the past couple days he had been too happy to be in the moment with David to think about her. Even when she and Leonie called, the smile on David’s face wiped away any guilt he might have felt. Now though, it was crashing back down in real time. Jonas’ offer to talk about it just made that guilt worse. There were so many things he wasn’t telling him, but he just wasn’t ready. 

Admittedly, breaking up over text might not have been the coolest thing to do, but he knew that if he was standing there face to face, he wouldn’t have been able to do it. She would probably start crying, and God knows he wouldn’t know what to do in that situation. Every time before when they would talk about their relationship, every time she gave him an opportunity to walk away, he couldn’t. He managed to convince himself that he would get over the things he was feeling and make it work with her, that he wouldn’t have to admit to himself what was really going on. But not now, not after the weekend. Not after David. 

She was so nice, and she didn’t deserve any of this. He wished he’d never dragged her into this, but, well, hindsight is 20/20. He couldn’t have anticipated how quickly everything would change. All he wanted to do was fade into the background. Just move along without anyone asking him questions, or asking anything of him, really. Even if that wasn’t what made him happy, it was easier that way. He had gotten used to the idea that maybe happiness wasn’t in the cards for him. 

When David had asked him if he believed in fate, for a moment it had been all too real. He had been living for so long just accepting things as they came to him and not giving a second thought to any of it. That’s what fate was right? If he just let things go, took a backseat in his own life, whatever happened was what was meant to happen. If he believed that, then it was easier to deal with the days it was too hard to make it out of bed. He hadn’t necessarily meant to reveal so much to David, even if he didn’t say that many words. Confessing that he didn’t want to be alone felt like too much, especially since David was the only one he wanted to be with right now. It felt like he had spilled his all his dark thoughts all over the floor and invited David to look at them. But it felt so easy with him, it wasn’t possible to keep them inside. It had been like that from the very beginning; talking to David was the easiest thing in the world. Honest words fell from his mouth to a boy he barely knew, things he wouldn’t even tell his best friend. Words that made him second guess the way he’d been moving through life. 

He wanted David, more than he had ever wanted anything. He wanted to kiss him, and wake up next to him, and laugh about stupid shit with him. He wanted that every day of his life. It was something he wanted to reach out and take, instead of passively hoping it would come to him. He couldn’t risk letting this go. He only hoped David felt the same.

Someone coughing behind him startled him out of his thoughts. The classroom came back into focus and he cursed internally. Before anything else he had to get through this exam. He smiled to himself; he could sit through this no matter how painful it was, because he had a date to look forward to.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Hozier - Sunlight


End file.
